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from Events/Announcements
In Memoriam:
Hector Roybal
The following is a tribute given by Dr. Joseph Nicolosi at the funeral of Hector Roybal this February in Southern California. He was a good friend of NARTH and a longtime supporter of men coming out of homosexuality.
Hector Roybal |
I am very glad to be here today to honor Hector and to celebrate his life.
Anyone who knew Hector knew that he was fully and actively engaged in life, and fully engaged with people. If you spent just a half-hour with him, you might well be interrupted a dozen times by calls coming in to his cell phone. He was always talking, networking, and connecting with people around the world. Even when I was in Europe giving conferences, people would come up to me afterward to say, "You know Hector, don't you?" They would tell me that they knew and appreciated him and were thankful for his work and support.
Hector did not want to die. It was not that he was afraid of death, since from every thing I knew of him, he had a rock-solid faith. But the reason he didn't want to die, was because he did not want to be separated from the people he loved. And he loved a lot of people--and because we felt his love, we loved him. That's how it works, and Hector knew that; we love people when we feel their love for us, and you couldn't help but love Hector.
And you couldn't help be annoyed by him: strong-willed, pushy, opinionated and controlling. But if he was pushy, it was because he pushed himself. If he was demanding, it was because he was equally demanding of himself. And if you called him on that, he'd back down---he did not want to hurt you.
Hector and I went out to lunch together about a month before he died. We were talking about his work, his life, the fact that his cancer treatments were no longer helping, and about his expectation that the end would soon come. It was at that time that he asked me to speak at his memorial, and I agreed.
What we said must have remained on his mind, because a few days later he told me again, "Thanks, Joe for saying you'd speak at my memorial service." Discussing a memorial with a man who will soon die, I guess made me a little nervous, so I said something silly -- "Oh, don't worry Hector, it'll go great. It's just too bad you won't be there to hear it." Without skipping a beat, Hector answered calmly, "That's O.K. Joe, you can tell me all about it when we meet in the next life."
Hector was driven by a sense of mission - not only to perfect his Christian walk, but especially, to help other men...men who struggled with homosexuality, but sometimes, even just strangers he met that he'd give his time and energy to. After battling to overcome his own boyhood insecurities and self-doubts, he had become a leader of men. That's a lesson for all of us; whatever our struggles, we can work to grow beyond them and offer a life of service.
To Hector's wife Sharon, we want you express our deepest condolences. To his children, we want to say that the older you get, the more you will understand the man your Dad was; the more mature you become, the more you will appreciate his determination to be what he wanted to be---a leader, a Christian, and a loving family man.
Updated: 31 March 2008
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